Misogi

“Misogi” is a Japanese Shinto Ritual that involves cleansing the body, mind, and spirit through physical and mental challenges. This concept was brought to my attention by a video Jesse Itzler made where he discussed how he utilizes the Misogi Ritual. In the video he talks about doing something so difficult once a year that it impacts the rest of your 364 days of the year. I had heard this right after my buddies and I had just completed the Rim to Rim hike in the Grand Canyon, the journey was incredibly difficult, so difficult that it changed my perspective on so many things around me. This change of perspective showed me that this hike was this year’s Misogi.

Thank you to Jonan and Bozeman for always being so down to do this type of shit with me. Both of you guys have had insane impact on my life, I will continue to invite you guys on these journeys and I hope your outtakes were as impactful as the ones I had, truly would not have been possible without either one of you.

We began the hike on the North Rim at 2am on Friday the 18th, it was a full moon and it was about 37 degrees out. We had done very little preparation on our trail knowledge but food wise and time wise we were set up for success. Our first 2.5 miles felt dramatically wrong and we had our suspicions considering in the first 2.5 miles we hadn’t declined at all. We got to the edge of the canyon and immediately looked to see if the trail continued, it didn’t. It became obvious that we had taken the wrong trailhead, we were irritated considering it also started hailing like crazy and we were getting hit with some intense winds. We still kept our spirits up and began playing ‘Hamilton’ from my Bose speaker in Jonan’s bag. This kept us occupied as we double-backed to the actual trail. We were 5 miles into our hike and we had just started the actual Rim to Rim hike at 4:15 am. Not ideal but we knew what we signed up for and these things happen. We had every excuse in the world to just bail on the hike there and call my Aunt Brenda; lack of sleep, crazy winds and hail, 5 miles in the wrong direction, the list goes on, one thing to note, all of our lists of excuses were different; yet our goal was the same. Get to the South Rim at all costs.

We started our descent and were making great time. We ran into very little problems when we actually started the trail. I personally felt great but was having some issues with my feet and I felt extremely mentally tired from the lack of sleep. Once we finished the descent we ended up in Cottonwood with the sun finally lighting our path completely. We found a bench where I told Jonan and Bozeman that I was going to nap, they refuted and said we should keep going but I knew my brain needed some rest. I’m usually not the best at listening to my body, I am always pushing myself somehow, but something kept telling me to just take 10 minutes. I laid down on the bench and covered my eyes. When I woke up, it felt like I had slept for hours, on top of this Bozeman gave me a caffeine pill and I felt completely present. We were 10 miles in and I was mentally sharp. We kept on trail and pushed the pace a little, after my nap, I think we pushed the next 5 miles with no major breaks, just stopping to eat some food.

To us, our big checkpoint was Phantom Ranch, 7 miles from Cottonwood, and 8 miles to the South Rim. We were 2 miles away and we had taken a longer break where all the pain began to set in on our legs. My right knee was killing me but again, we had a mission. Get to the South Rim. That two mile stretch from where we had taken a break to Phantom Ranch was brutal, we were dying to get to Phantom Ranch to just recover and get a nap in. When we arrived we went straight to a bench and we all ate the bigger meals we had packed, which included some beer for some carbs and morale. Right after we ate, we all put our heads down and took a nap. Exhausted, I woke up to Jonan talking about a squirrel being on him, not entirely sure if that was real or not and I asked him later on the hike and he had no clue if he was dreaming or if it was real either. I went back to sleep, woke up 20 minutes later and hobbled to the creek, Bozeman wasn’t napping so I assumed he’d done the same. I was told to put my feet in the creek to reduce the swelling so that’s what I did.

I started to head back to the bench we were stationed at, and when I found Bozeman, he was hobbling. It was clear both our knees were fucked. We kinda just looked at each other and laughed. Which since the beginning of my friendship with Bozeman is just the type of person he is. No bitching, no complaining, no victim mindset, it’s something that made us great friends and it’s always something I admired about him. Jonan woke up and went to the creek, we were all getting situated for the next stretch of the hike. Seeing how the hike impacted our bodies, we knew it was going to be a slower trek especially going up the canyon rather than down.

We left Phantom Ranch and began the second effort of our pursuit of the South Rim at 2:30pm. In our heads we were on pace to complete the hike by 6:30pm which was optimistic but we figured we could power through the pain. This stretch was home to the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen. Words cannot explain how surreal it felt, crossing over the Colorado River is an image that I cannot wait to see again. While the beauty was remarkable, this was the most mentally challenging part of the hike, and the slowest.

We ate away at the 8 miles left accomplishing 5 miles before sundown. With 3 miles to complete, it was completely dark, raining, and it was getting super cold. We were going at pace with another large group that were making their ascent. At this point, it’s raining pretty hard at a steady rate. We stopped and got our last bit of food in. I was completely out of bars but luckily still had a ton of water left. 3 miles left was a daunting thought. Time wise, especially going that uphill, we knew it would take around an hour and a half. Jonan was mentally tracking that time, but we did not have any way of telling time since our phones had all died. Jonan kept reminding us “forward.” It was inspiring, I was at the head of our group and we stuck to Jonan’s word. Forward. Regardless of how painful it was. We took a couple breaks in this stretch, and I want to say with 2 miles left it began to snow. We were soaked from the rain and now the snow stuck to our clothes and made it exponentially colder. But we kept forward, we had to get to that South Rim.

We stopped super briefly with 1.25 miles left and I realized that the more we stop the colder we got because we would lose our body heat. It got super fucking cold. The coldest I’ve ever been. We had no clue how much longer was actually left, it felt like we were ascending for hours, every switchback saying “It’s gotta be coming up.” I was pretty far ahead of Jonan and Bozeman at this point, not because I was trying to show off or anything even remotely close to that, but with the type of people they are, if they saw me keep moving I knew they would too. I know this because if I was behind them, they would do the same. We had no pace, it was just forward. Make no mistake, I was dying at this point, I was questioning if we were going to even make it. I knew if we stayed on the trail, in the cold, we would likely die. That thought alone couldn’t even be processed, it was all numb. I was talking to myself at this point just reminding myself to never stop moving my legs, I kept repeating “Forward.” And that’s what we did.

We got to the South Rim at 8pm, doing just under 30 miles in distance since we had gone off track at the beginning. This was our rendition of the Rim to Rim hike and in so many ways it made it 100 times more personal and impactful. We all limped to the lodge to meet my Aunt Brenda, when she saw us she ran over and gave each one of us a big hug. Once we got all situated she told us that it was a blizzard outside and they were closing some of the roads. She also said that she thought we had died and she was getting super worried. Hearing her say that made me realize how truly lucky we were to be alive with no injuries, just an incredible story and experience. We had an awesome dinner and reflected on the hike and takeaways over quesadillas and hot chocolate. It was clear as day, this was my misogi.

I would like to thank my Great Aunt Brenda for being such an incredible person and inspiring this idea to begin with. I would have done this hike eventually but I am so grateful you gave me a timeline and pushed me to follow through, especially this young. Your preparation and all the driving you did was a lifesaver and was truly appreciated by me and my friends. Genuinely would not have been able to do it without you. I am excited to be back on this trail with you next year, we will be more prepared! Love you!